I came across an article by the "Dear Abby" writer called: "Wife calls foul in friends' game of show and tell." Here is a section of the article where the viewer is laying down her problem:It seems like whenever we get together, Alice manages to bring up the subject of sex. In the past I'd ignore it, but the last time it happened she began talking about how Ted had taken pictures of her after sex. Then she stared at Bob and asked, "Would you like to see them?" Abby, my husband responded, "Sure!"
At that point I lost it. I told Bob his response was extremely rude and showed no concern for my feelings. Everyone tried to make light of what happened. I realize that Alice may have an issue, but was I wrong to state my feelings?
Here is "Dear Abby's" advice:You were right to make your feelings known, but your anger should have been aimed at Alice, not your curious spouse. If I had to guess, I'd say Alice and Ted probably have an open marriage, and they have been trying to "enlist" you and Bob for some time. Unless this is your cup of tea — which I doubt — wake up and cool it with this "adventurous" couple.
You can read the full article here
The advice Dear Abby gives to this woman is just ridiculous to me. Actually it got me pretty mad. In the full article it says this couple has been married for 35 years. I can't imagine some one being married, presumably to the one they love, for 35 years without catching some kind of clue about that persons thoughts and feelings. I have to disagree with Abby when she says, "...your anger should have been aimed at Alice, not your curious spouse
I'm sure some irritation directed towards "Alice" would be understandable but is she really the one who can directly effect the health of this marriage? Of course not. Is "Alice" supposed to be the one who is most in tune with the wife's feelings? Of course not. Can a man really be struck with such debilitating force from mild curiosity that it overtakes his memory of the last 35 years? Absolutely not.
So according to Abby the wife was right for being mad in this situation but wrong to hold her husband accountable because, as its widely becoming know, men are powerless in the face of mild curiosity and cannot be responsible thereafter for what they do. If this advice were applied to real life then this poor wife would have a daunting task of warding off all possible kryptonite that may grab her husbands curiosity.Dear Abby, how does a couple build a loving, lasting relationship if one of them is considered unable to take the others feelings into account?
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